Perception Isn’t Always Reality: Seeing Beyond Assumptions and Finding Truth

By Alison

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.”

— Aldous Huxley

Perception Isn’t Always Reality - Through a Foggy Lens

Perception isn’t always what it seems. Sometimes, we look at the world through a lens that is clouded, blurry, or even distorted. In those moments, we fill in the blanks with what we think is true rather than with facts. Our past experiences, our fears, our expectations, and even our own insecurities creep into the empty spaces, shaping a picture that may not reflect reality at all.

When we rely too heavily on perception, it can become dangerous. We convince ourselves that we understand the full story when, in truth, we’ve only pieced together fragments. The human mind is quick to complete a puzzle, even if half the pieces are missing. It’s easier to assume than to pause, ask, and truly listen.

Think about it: how many times have you spoken about something or made a decision without knowing the full story? You leaned on what you thought you knew, filtered through your history and assumptions. We’ve all done it.

The Danger of Assumptions

Too many times in life, we don’t take the opportunity to ask the deeper questions. We stop short of digging beneath the surface. We don’t leave space for real dialogue or openness, because we think we already know what’s going on. And when we think we know, we judge. We place people, circumstances, or even ourselves into boxes built on perception rather than truth.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines perception as “a belief or opinion, often held by many people and based on how things seem.” That definition captures it perfectly: how things seem. Not how they truly are. Not the full reality. Just the surface view.

But what if we challenged this way of living? What if we could train ourselves to slow down, to notice when we are filling in the blanks, and to approach others with genuine curiosity instead of quick conclusions? What if, instead of layering our own experiences and assumptions into those empty spaces, we simply asked, listened, and gave people the grace of being seen more fully?

David’s Story of Perception

This lesson became deeply personal to me through my experience with David. Leading up to his passing, David gave me the perception that everything was fine. From the outside, our life appeared steady and normal. We took the family trips. We went through the motions of daily life. Smiles filled the photos. To anyone looking in—from his extended family to his coworkers—he projected an image of someone who was happy, confident, and in control.

And I believed him. His family and friends also believed him because we all knew his character. I believed the perception he created because it seemed solid and convincing. It was easier to hold onto the comfort of “everything is fine” than to consider that something deeper might be hidden beneath the surface.

Looking back, I can see there were subtle cracks in the foundation: the restless nights, the late hours, the glazed look that sometimes crossed his face. But at the time, I brushed them off as normal ups and downs—just work stress, a bad day, a miscommunication. Nothing that pointed to the unthinkable.

The perception I carried made it harder to see the truth. It lulled me into a false sense of security – thinking and knowing at the time that he would never commit suicide. And now, in hindsight, I can’t help but ask myself: why didn’t I continue to ask the questions? Why didn’t I lean more into curiosity instead of comfort? He gave me the comfort of seeing a doctor, getting the medication, and scheduling the follow up – how did I miss that still wasn’t good enough?